From my experience, when I let those around me in, when they understood what I was going through, life was easier.  It took off a lot of stress; I did not have to explain why I went to the bathroom every hour, or if I did not make it to class.  I was never good at hiding stuff !

I will never for get my History professor; although I did forget his name I am afraid.  I had gone to several of his extra hours for students that needed help, and boy did I need help. My first grade in his class was a big fat D.   The next test I improved to a C then B and for the Final,  I actually managed an A.  At that time, you could leave a self-addressed envelope and the teachers would send you your grades, because most of us went home for Christmas vacation.

I was in shock when I saw that he gave me an A for the course, and gave me the Horatio Alger Award!   (Many of Alger’s works have been described as rags to riches stories, illustrating how down-and-out boys might be able to achieve the American Dream of wealth and success through hard work, courage, determination, and concern for others.)

He was telling me to never give up and I will succeed.  It is something I continue to live my life by until today, and a value I also try to instill upon my children.

1. Stay in contact on a regular basis.   I think email is best particularly if they are in a serious situation, they might not have the energy to talk on the phone, and repeat the same story over and over again.   Even if they never answer you back, keep the contact coming.  Believe me, it is something that always gives some one a pick me up, knowing that someone is thinking of them.
2. Let them know that it is Ok not to respond, NO accounting!  You are there for them at the moment and you just want them to know that you are thinking of them and they’re for them, to help when possible.
3. If you live close by, think of ways you might be able to volunteer your help, car pooling, grocery shopping, helping kids with homework.  Most people never want to actually ask for help, but if you can offer specifics on how you would love to do something, it might be easier for them to accept.
4. Tell your friend or loved one that you want to be a good friend, and in order to do that, they need to let you help them.  They are actually doing it for you, so that you can feel good that you made a difference in their life with deeds and not just words.
5. If your friend or laved one lives far away, ask for a person that is close by that you can stay in touch with to keep updated on their situation.  Being connected helps you feel apart of what they are going thru and helps them feel better that you care so much to want to stay in the picture.
6. Send healing thoughts to your friends, the power of thought is not to be underestimated!    
   
   “I find, by experience, that the mind and the body are more than married, for they are most intimately united; and when one suffers, the other sympathizes.”  The Earl of Chesterfield

7. The power of denial is not to be underestimated either!  What do I mean by denial?  If your thoughts are not going to help in any way, then stop thinking them! For instance, I have had several surgeries, and I could have sat around and worried about how much it would hurt, would everything turn out ok etc.  But I knew that kind of thinking was not going to help me one bit, so I DECIDED to completely not think about the surgery at all, and to focus on the present.  When I woke up from the surgery, I would have more than enough time to think about how to deal with the pain.  Now, this is not an easy thing to do, but if you work on it, you can accomplish it too.  When you become aware that you are not living in the present, bring your self back and stay there.  It takes practice, but it is well worth it,  you will be living in the present and make sure you make the most of those moments.

May the Holy One, blessed be God, be merciful and strengthen and heal him/her. Grant him/her a complete and speedy recovery—healing of body and healing of soul. And let us say: Amen.

I am praying for all of my loved ones that are dealing with the fight of their life, visualizing them healthy and pray for their speedy recovery.