Honestly, do we always have to be honest or can we let things slide? Is being Honest a Gift of Friendship?
How do be “honest” with your sister in law about something that she does that bothers you, and also not hurt her feelings?
The first question that arises is “Should I even bring up the subject?”
What is the subject? “Double Dipping“. Now I start to laugh as I recall the famous Jerry Seinfeld episode with George doing his double dipping. Totally classic, but what happens when it is happening in your own home, with your SIL or even a good friend.
To talk or not to talk, that is the question! Would it be so terrible to ignore? Are they at your house enough to bring up the conversation?
As I was having a wonderful afternoon lunch with “the women of the Board” one of the ladies asked us what she should do. It totally drove her crazy. And not only was her SIL double dipping, she was eating straight out of the serving bowl, time and time again. (Maybe she should watch this) We all decided that honesty here, discreetly off to the side, was the best policy. She said it totally grossed her out and did not want to have family dinners at her house because of it. By not telling her SIL, she was putting herself in a situation to distance herself from her family. Therefore, we thought the matter should be addressed, but with great sensitivity, i.e., in private.
It could be very well that her SIL was just not aware that she was that was doing something that might be considered uncouth, or bad manners, and more importantly, that bothered our friend. I have found that usually when someone is made aware of an action that they are doing that upsets someone; they will make an effort to stop it. They can’t be expected to be mind readers and therefore, they probably have no idea that what they are doing drives you nuts.
Make them aware of what is on your mind, gently and lovingly, and you will both feel so much better!! Now that is a great friendship gift, honesty!
So go ahead, be honest, just do it with love and kindness.
An honest answer is the sign of true friendship.– Proverbs 24:26
